Letting Go Is Knowing There Is A Future…
Living My Best Life
At the age of 30, I was living my best life. I had just finished University, studying for my masters and I was looking forward to starting my career as a newly qualified Social Worker. I’d finally found my real purpose in life!
My health began to deteriorate soon after I had started my new job. I was commuting a long distance to work and had felt the strain of this after several months. I visited my GP as I had been feeling very tired to the point of exhaustion. When people asked how I was, I described myself as often feeling under the weather, not quite myself. I was told by several doctors that everything was fine and my blood test results always came back ‘normal’.
So what was wrong with me? Was it all in my head? I began to research my symptoms, on Dr Google - we’ve all done it! I would spend hours just searching and reading articles and stories about other people who had or were experiencing similar symptoms to me.
This was driving my anxiety which was impacting my physical health. My symptoms were getting worse each day. One day I broke down in tears in front of my GP and explained how I was struggling to perform my duties at work and that I didn’t have the physical or mental energy to do my job. With this, the doctor signed me off on the sick and sent me away with a prescription for anti-depressant medication (they clearly suspected my mental health).
I guess I was depressed, but this wasn’t my personality it was a result of my symptoms and my inability to perform basic day to day tasks which we all take for granted. I couldn’t help but think the doctor didn’t believe me. I felt lost and unheard. I wanted it all to go away. Over the coming months, my family became concerned about me. My mum would try and cheer me up by offering words of encouragement but I didn’t feel well in myself, something wasn’t right but I couldn’t explain why I felt the way I did.
One morning I woke up, I felt nauseous, I didn’t have the energy to lift my head off the pillow and I couldn’t turn my head. I was exhausted and felt chronically sick. I was scared and suspected there was something seriously wrong. I asked my partner to ring my mum, I needed to see a doctor. A GP visited me at home and diagnosed me with a viral infection, and said it would pass but I needed lots of rest and plenty of fluids.
They also agreed to run some blood tests. The tests came back ‘normal’ but I still felt really unwell. I had a fever, severe neck pain, sore throat, migraine headaches, dizziness, brain fog, nerve pain in my limbs, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, nausea, digestive issues, severe anxiety, skin rashes, extreme fatigue, insomnia, poor concentration, and word finding difficulties, sensitivity to light, noise, and smell.
These symptoms did not dissipate and continued to worsen over the months to come.
I became confined to my bed and my mum was now my carer. My mum was also my advocate and she was the one who said to me one day, “Love, I think you may have ME” (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I didn’t know what this was, I had never heard of the neurological condition which affects the nervous system and immune system. It is a build-up of toxins in the fluid around the brain and spinal cord. In ME patients, they do not detoxify well which leads to a blockage in the drainage channels. My mum read out the symptoms and I could relate to them all.
Diagnosis
With support from my family, I was able to see a private consultant, Dr Raymond Perrin, who was able to diagnose me after completing a physical examination and taking a full health history. Later this would also be diagnosed by an NHS health professional.
Dr Perrin told me that he could help me get better and regain some quality of life. But it was unclear what kind of recovery I would make, it was too early to say. I was unable to work at this point. I underwent 18 months of intensive treatment at the Perrin Clinic in Manchester where Dr Perrin performed weekly osteopathic treatment and lymphatic drainage massage.
He warned me before I started my treatment that my symptoms would get worse before I felt better and he wasn’t lying! I didn’t think I could feel any worse but oh boy did it hit me. I wondered if I had done the right thing starting the treatment, was it going to set me back? And would I ever feel better?
Seeing The Light
Once I was able to start letting go of my old life and my old self, I started to make some real progress. I embarked on a mindset programme to retrain my brain to think differently and to get rid of unhealthy thoughts that were not serving me in a positive way. I journalled daily.
This was the hardest part for me, coming to realise that my life would never be the same. My past was in the past and I had to focus on the present and the future and remind myself I could still have a life worth living. I needed to grieve my past life, my hobbies, my career, friendships I had lost due to illness. Eventually, I realised that my illness was a gift. I had been given an opportunity to re write my story.
Living in hope and being kind to myself is what got me through some very dark times. I was getting some strength back physically and mentally. I could see the light…
Letting Go
With the help of Dr Perrin and his associates my physical health was starting to improve, it was small steps. Don’t get me wrong, my healing wasn’t linear and I had many difficult weeks but then over time, I started to have more good weeks than bad weeks. I remember the day that I was able to stand and not feel dizzy or nauseous. For a moment I realised I didn’t have a headache and my nausea was brief.
Over time I spent more time out of bed, I could manage some light activity and conversation… but was I cured?
During my time at the Perrin Clinic I was introduced to an Osteopath who had also trained in Nutritional Therapy & Functional Medicine. I agreed to have a consultation with her to see if she could help me. I found out later that she also had M.E.
During our time working together she inspired, helped and supported me to change my diet to support my energy delivery mechanisms and metabolism. She was a confidant. With her help I was able to identify the trigger and causes of my illness and address the imbalances and burdens on my body.
The combination of the Perrin Technique and Functional Nutrition was life changing for me. Around the same time, I came across another Nutritional Therapist who had trained with the College of Naturopathic Medicine and had regained her health after Lyme Disease. We met in person to discuss the diploma course. She talked about how re training as a Nutritional Therapist had been a huge turning point in her life and in her recovery.
The following year when my health had improved, I enrolled on a 3 year diploma course with CNM to study Naturopathic Nutritional Therapy. My final year was a challenge, I was juggling part time work and study but I was determined to pass my theory and practical exams.
Unfortunately, in my second year I had a relapse with my health and I was forced to defer the course for a year. This was a really difficult time for me but my body was trying to tell me I was pushing myself too much for too long. Being a ‘Type A’ personality I wanted to run before I could walk. My nervous system was in need of some support after being under an incredible amount of stress from the past year. I needed to slow down and pace myself if I was to finish the course.
The following year I was ready to return to college feeling in a much better place to continue my studies. In October 2022, I qualified as a Naturopathic Nutritional Therapist (with very proud parents). If you’d told me several years prior I would have regained my health and re-trained in Nutrition, I wouldn’t have believed you!
Looking To The Future
In August 2023, I started my own business and opened my clinic called Artichoke Nutrition & Wellbeing in Ellesmere, North Shropshire. I am self-employed which allows me to have a better work life balance. I work with my clients on a 1:1 basis in person and online. I’m a trained Colon Hydrotherapist and I specialise in gut health and chronic fatigue conditions. I also run a range of talks and workshops at the clinic to promote people’s health and wellbeing.
I am happy to say my health is good, I still need to work at it (some weeks are tough) but I know my limitations and I am very in tune with what my body needs. When I recovered from ME I completed a walk up Old Man of Coniston in the Lake District which was on my bucket list when I was well enough. I now enjoy hatha yoga, meditation and wild swimming.
I hope my story has inspired those who may be struggling with their health or can relate to my story whilst educating others about this debilitating and misunderstood condition which is ME/CFS.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story… Rachel.
Meet Rachel:
“Hi, I’m Rachel - and if I had any advice for someone who is struggling, with their health, it would be to reach out to somebody, don't struggle alone. Once I recognised that I couldn't do this alone, it was easier to accept help and support.”
Find Rachel Here:
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