Leaning into discomfort as a new business owner
Hello! I’m Jess and I’m an EFT tapping therapy practitioner and a mindfulness teacher. Some of the beauty of those tools for me is that they give us a chance to stop running from our experiences and meet them peacefully instead.
The work that I’m lucky enough to do is about supporting my clients to lean into their difficulties - that past experience that never left them or their belief that they’re not worthy for example, and to begin to trust themselves to find the right next step. I know that that process can sometimes be painful but I also know, from my experience as a practitioner and also as a client, that on the other side of those difficult moments is the freedom we all crave.
What I really didn’t expect was that starting my EFT & wellbeing business would be such a personal journey into my own discomfort! If you’re anything like me, here are three places you might find yourself feeling some growing pains as a new business owner…
Visibility
If you have any fears about being out there in the world and showing up in front of other people (so…most of us!) starting a business is going to bring them out.
There’s suddenly nothing to hide behind. These are your services, your products and it’s your face on your marketing. It’s you presenting yourself at networking events and making friends (or enemies!) with TikTok and Instagram.
Showing up wasn’t the first thing I thought about when I decided to start my business because I was focused on sharing the power of EFT. When I realised clients wouldn’t know I was here if I didn’t tell them, trying to become more visible felt like a chore at first but through it I have learned so much.
When I was employed I chose never to be the front-man. I have always been a hard worker but imposter syndrome around presenting meant that I preferred to do the work behind the scenes and let someone else take the meeting about it. Having a business has allowed me to take ownership not just of what I offer but also of myself. It has allowed me to let my passion for what I do turn into confidence and to start to say what we can all benefit from saying, authentically and unapologetically - Here I am.
Uncertainty
It might be that you are leaving a job that you’ve had for years. Maybe it’s a total career change or maybe you’re losing the security of a pay cheque every month. Maybe you’re thinking, “can this actually work?” or you are feeling panicky when you realise how many similar businesses are out there.
You are the expert on you and you’ll know when it’s time to make the leap. When you do decide to do it, unless you have a magical guarantee, it is likely that it will always feel like a jump which means there will always be fear involved.
One of the themes for me since I started my business and something that I haven’t always lived by, is that fear doesn’t have to be a stop sign. Instead it can be the beginning of a conversation with yourself about whether now is the time to push that boundary, it’s coming back to why you decided to do this in the first place and why it doesn’t feel safe right now. When you start to listen to fear, kindly and compassionately, you can understand what it wants to protect you from and make a decision about whether you agree with it. From there, the fog can lift and help you see your next steps.
It’s not to say that that first leap and all of the ones that come afterwards aren’t genuinely scary. You have responsibilities and bills to pay, of course, but it’s also you putting your faith in you. It’s you saying I’m ready and I deserve to do something that lights me up. It can be really useful to have something - maybe post-its around the house or something as your phone background - that reminds you of the belief you had for yourself in the moment you made the decision. You might have times where that feeling is hard to find again but when you have that fire in your belly it’s usually because the world needs what you are ready to give.
Vulnerability
Choosing to be authentic means that you might not be everybody’s cup of tea and some people might be more vocal about that than others. When you are feeling tired or the day hasn’t gone quite to plan it can be easy to hear critical voices on a megaphone and all the wonderful feedback as whispers.
It’s worth remembering that you’re not here to please everyone. Apart from being completely impossible - none of us can and chasing the myth can drive us to inaction - trying to appeal to everyone’s different ideas and preferences will actually dilute the amazing energy of what you are bringing that is uniquely you. Not everyone will need that and maybe not everyone will even like it, but for the people who do it will be absolute gold.
I run a little podcast called Not a Perfect Parent and I am a big advocate of ditching impossible standards. Does that mean I don't have them sometimes about myself in my business? Of course not.
When you put your heart into something it becomes more than paperwork and strategies. The day you launch your website or advertise your offer it might feel like you are putting a little piece of you out there. That’s because you are, and that’s been the beauty and the challenge of it for me.
You are also bound to make mistakes every now and again (gasp!) and that’s okay, we’re learning. When our children learn to walk we don’t tell them off every time they fall down and we don’t hold their fall against them every time they try again because we know that’s what learning is.
Something that I have to keep reminding myself of over and over again is how to find that encouraging voice for myself rather than looking for it from other people. It’s about finding and following that drive to create even when it’s only me who can see what I’m creating. Of course it helps a lot to have people in your corner cheering you on or people to bounce your ideas off, but they don’t have to get it necessarily. If your voice was strongest, what would it say? If you completely believed in your abilities, what would you do?
When I feel like I’m completely baffled by the next step I try to forget about the ins and outs of it and ask myself how it feels. That excitement, that lift in my heart, that purpose and fulfilment - that’s why I’m here, that’s why I’m doing it and if I’ve got side-tracked in overthinking about what I ‘should’ be doing or doubting myself as a business owner, I need to find a next step that will bring me that lift again.
That lift is my compass, it’s going to help me find my way back to where I need to be. It’s also going to keep things fun, which can be an easy but terrible thing to lose!
Probably the best discovery for me so far is that there is no rulebook and despite appearances, we are all winging it. I love that because it means we all have as much right to be here as each other. There is no secret and you will never ‘know it all’, to some degree we all just have to have a go!
Top tip:
Find your tribe - That safe space where you can explore visibility, be vulnerable about challenges and pitch new ideas for thoughtful, kind and constructive feedback - GET **IT DONE CLUB and the many lovely women in it have been one of these places for me.
We all experience so many crossovers in how it feels to be going it alone, whatever your industry or circumstances. You can find places of competition among other business owners if that’s your bag, but there are also places of support and collaboration which is more mine. It’s a softer landing.
If you’ve landed at GET **IT DONE CLUB and that’s what you’ve been craving, you’re in the right place!
“Hi, I’m Jess. I am an advanced EFT and mindfulness Practitioner offering flexible virtual sessions to tackle stress, anxiety and trauma and unwanted negative patterns.
I also deliver group wellbeing workshops and run a podcast called Not a Perfect Parent: The extraordinary wisdom of ordinary parents.
I absolutely love my work but when I'm not living and breathing EFT or supporting parents you will find me chasing down my two mad toddlers, cuddling my gorgeous cats, walking in the woods with my lovely husband or curled up with a book and a brew.”
Find Jess at breatheeasymeditation.co.uk and on Instagram, or email jess@breatheeasymeditation.co.uk
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